175 Funny Driving Captions and Quotes for Instagram/Facebook (2023)

There’s nothing I love more than heading out for a drive in my new car! I’ve still got that new car feeling too, despite having my car for 6+ months now!

Wanna share those same vibes with the world? Then here are 175 funny driving captions for your Instagram photos:

  1. “Honk if you love peace and quiet.”
  2. “Why did the car apply for a job? It wanted to quit being a junker!”
  3. “Caution: I drive just like you do!”
  4. “Born to drive – forced to park.”
  5. “I’m not speeding; I’m qualifying.”
  6. “Turns out parking is not my strong suit.”
  7. “Fast lane, slow brain.”
  8. “I swear this car is part snail – always carrying its home.”
  9. “My other car is a broomstick.”
  10. “0 to 60 in… well… eventually!”
  11. “Fuelled by coffee and classic rock.”
  12. “Driving: The art of avoiding pedestrians, potholes, and squirrels.”
  13. “You auto complete me.”
  14. “My car and I: Aging but dangerous!”
  15. “Lost: GPS signal. Mind. Patience.”
  16. “Horn broken. Watch for finger.”
  17. “I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!”
  18. “Real drivers don’t use the horn, they use the gears.”
  19. “Reality called, so I hung up.”
  20. “Learning stick: Sorry for the jerks.”
  21. “Forgot how to adult today. Went for a drive instead.”
  22. “Racing is the best way to convert money into noise.”
  23. “Parallel parking is the driving equivalent of public speaking.”
  24. “I may be in the left lane, but I’m always right.”
  25. “Eat. Sleep. Drive. Repeat.”
  26. “Life’s too short for traffic.”
  27. “If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!”
  28. “Why I stopped going to therapy? I got a convertible.”
  29. “Always use a car in β€˜drive’ mode.”
  30. “Driving with the top down and my worries in the rearview.”
  31. “Sometimes I feel like my car’s the only one that listens to me.”
  32. “Catch flights, not feelings. Catch turns, not tails.”
  33. “Started car diet: cutting out the carbs.”
  34. “Not drunk, just avoiding potholes.”
  35. “Driving is my therapy – my escape.”
  36. “Keep calm and drive on.”
  37. “Yes, officer, I did see the speed limit sign. I just didn’t see you.”
  38. “I don’t have road rage, you’re just an idiot.”
  39. “Too fast for love.”
  40. “They say money can’t buy happiness. But it pays for gas, which is pretty much the same thing.”
  41. “It’s not about the destination but the glory of the ride.”
  42. “Did it for the parking space.”
  43. “The road to my heart is paved with paw prints.”
  44. “Drive like you stole it.”
  45. “Does using the carpool lane count as a social life?”
  46. “Life in the fast lane, until you have to refuel.”
  47. “Out of my way, I’m in a hurry!”
  48. “Either the car is new or the driver is.”
  49. “Honk if you think I’m sexy. Then put down your phone and drive!”
  50. “Just winging it – my eyeliner and my driving.”
  51. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry… to merge.”
  52. “Weekend forecast: Driving with a chance of adventure.”
  53. “Car sick: When your car’s tune-up costs more than a trip to the Bahamas.”
  54. “If you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough.”
  55. “Turning my driving mode ON.”
  56. “Life’s a journey, not a destination. But always a fun ride!”
  57. “Keep calm and let’s go for a drive.”
  58. “Out here making our own lanes.”
  59. “Eyes on the horizon, foot on the pedal.”
  60. “Some call it road rage, I call it aggressive maneuvering.”
  61. “Happiness is… a green light.”
  62. “Beep, beep! Outta my way!”
  63. “Who needs GPS? I know where I’m lost!”
  64. “If you’re not first, you’re last.”
  65. “Too many roads, too little time.”
  66. “Some of my best friends are road signs.”
  67. “When life throws you a curve, downshift and take it!”
  68. “Weekend forecast: Cruising with a slight chance of adventure.”
  69. “My favorite hybrid is me behind the wheel with coffee.”
  70. “This is how I roll!”
  71. “I don’t need therapy. I just need a long drive.”
  72. “The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
  73. “Out of all the paths you take in life, make sure some of them are dirt.”
  74. “If you were a car, I’d jack you up and check your oil.”
  75. “Brake is the enemy.”
  76. “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
  77. “License to roam.”
  78. “The most scenic roads have the most curves.”
  79. “Why be moody when you can shake your booty in the car?”
  80. “Feeling wheel today!”
  81. “My car might be old, but it still gets me there.”
  82. “Driving with the top down – even in the rain.”
  83. “Got more keys than Alicia.”
  84. “I don’t drive fast, I just fly low.”
  85. “If you’re comfortable, you’re not going fast enough.”
  86. “Can’t touch this!”
  87. “Driving faster than my guardian angel can fly.”
  88. “Watch out for the wild driver!”
  89. “This isn’t a race… Oh wait, yes it is!”
  90. “I was going to make a car joke, but I didn’t want to exhaust you.”
  91. “Life is too short to drive boring cars.”
  92. “All I want is a good tune and an open road.”
  93. “Laugh it up, fuzzball – it’s not a race!”
  94. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. That’s why I keep snacks in my car.”
  95. “Speed bump ahead. Oh wait, just a shadow.”
  96. “There’s no place like home – but I’d rather be driving.”
  97. “Love is… sharing the open road.”
  98. “Just call me Bond. James, Bond. Shaken, not stirred by my driving.”
  99. “They say don’t drink and drive. So I sip and cruise.”
  100. “Forget the map, I’m going on an adventure!”
  101. “Better late than never but never late is better.”
  102. “Drive it like you stole it – but remember I have insurance!”
  103. “Let’s drive into the sunset together!”
  104. “Just because I’m in the slow lane doesn’t mean I’m slow!”
  105. “Going my way?”
  106. “Driving is a way of life. Mostly in the left lane.”
  107. “Life is a highway. I wanna ride it all night long.”
  108. “I wasn’t texting, I was just drafting my novel.”
  109. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing… and my driving!”
  110. “If my car was a person, it would have trust issues.”
  111. “Let’s wander where the Wi-Fi is weak.”
  112. “Just a girl in love with every bend in the road.”
  113. “Driving license to thrill.”
  114. “Some call it reckless. I call it exhilarating!”
  115. “I brake for animals, coffee shops, and garage sales.”
  116. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”
  117. “Driven by passion (and a lot of coffee).”
  118. “I only speed when I really need to: Always.”
  119. “Driving mode: Beast.”
  120. “I don’t always scream at my television but when I do, it’s football season.”
  121. “Road trips aren’t measured by mile markers, but by moments.”
  122. “I follow the speed limit. Just not during rush hour.”
  123. “Keep calm and drive like a boss.”
  124. “My car’s music is high, my socks are colorful, and my mood is on the run.”
  125. “Let’s have a moment of silence for all those stuck in traffic.”
  126. “Don’t dream it, drive it!”
  127. “Life is too short for traffic jams.”
  128. “Better a late bloomer than never at all!”
  129. “If you can read this, you’re not the police. Carry on!”
  130. “Real men use three pedals.”
  131. “Slow down? Never!”
  132. “Sunday Funday drive!”
  133. “Who needs roads when you have a sense of direction?”
  134. “Honk if you’re having a good time!”
  135. “Can my car be my Valentine?”
  136. “Some call it road rage, I call it driving with passion!”
  137. “Going nowhere fast!”
  138. “Life’s an open road.”
  139. “I wasn’t speeding, I was just testing my brakes.”
  140. “Beauty in the streets, beast in my seats!”
  141. “Buckle up! It’s going to be a fun ride.”
  142. “I brake for cake!”
  143. “My car is my yoga mat.”
  144. “Life’s a journey. Avoid speed bumps!”
  145. “Just a girl and her car.”
  146. “The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams.”
  147. “Traffic jams are a great time to just be.”
  148. “Fueling my wanderlust, one drive at a time.”
  149. “When in doubt, throttle out.”
  150. “Laugh at your mistakes; everyone else is.”
  151. “There’s more to life than gas, but not much.”
  152. “Got gas? Let’s go!”
  153. “My other ride is a spaceship.”
  154. “May your coffee be strong and your commute be short.”
  155. “Why do drivers wait until it’s raining to turn on their lights but not their brains?”
  156. “I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m someone’s double vodka.”
  157. “Life is like a car. If you keep going in reverse, you won’t get to your destination.”
  158. “Driving > Adulting.”
  159. “Life is a journey, enjoy the ride!”
  160. “Keep honking, I’m reloading.”
  161. “Eat. Sleep. Drive. Repeat.”
  162. “Out of my way, world. I’ve got my sassy pants on!”
  163. “Cruise mode on.”
  164. “My way or the highway!”
  165. “I like cars with curves.”
  166. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it… in my car.”
  167. “You can’t handle the vroom!”
  168. “Gas, coffee, drive, repeat!”
  169. “Steering my way into your heart.”
  170. “Speed demon on the loose!”
  171. “Feeling adrenalized!”
  172. “If you see me driving and singing, mind your business.”
  173. “From 0 to 100 real quick!”
  174. “Drive more, worry less.”
  175. “Riding into the sunset, one gear at a time.”

I hope you find these humorous and appropriate for your Instagram posts! And of course, I hope your audience gets a laugh out of these too. πŸ˜†

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I'm Joshua from Australia. πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί

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