There’s nothing I love more than heading out for a drive in my new car! I’ve still got that new car feeling too, despite having my car for 6+ months now!
Wanna share those same vibes with the world? Then here are 175 funny driving captions for your Instagram photos:
- “Honk if you love peace and quiet.”
- “Why did the car apply for a job? It wanted to quit being a junker!”
- “Caution: I drive just like you do!”
- “Born to drive – forced to park.”
- “I’m not speeding; I’m qualifying.”
- “Turns out parking is not my strong suit.”
- “Fast lane, slow brain.”
- “I swear this car is part snail – always carrying its home.”
- “My other car is a broomstick.”
- “0 to 60 in… well… eventually!”
- “Fuelled by coffee and classic rock.”
- “Driving: The art of avoiding pedestrians, potholes, and squirrels.”
- “You auto complete me.”
- “My car and I: Aging but dangerous!”
- “Lost: GPS signal. Mind. Patience.”
- “Horn broken. Watch for finger.”
- “I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol!”
- “Real drivers don’t use the horn, they use the gears.”
- “Reality called, so I hung up.”
- “Learning stick: Sorry for the jerks.”
- “Forgot how to adult today. Went for a drive instead.”
- “Racing is the best way to convert money into noise.”
- “Parallel parking is the driving equivalent of public speaking.”
- “I may be in the left lane, but I’m always right.”
- “Eat. Sleep. Drive. Repeat.”
- “Life’s too short for traffic.”
- “If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!”
- “Why I stopped going to therapy? I got a convertible.”
- “Always use a car in ‘drive’ mode.”
- “Driving with the top down and my worries in the rearview.”
- “Sometimes I feel like my car’s the only one that listens to me.”
- “Catch flights, not feelings. Catch turns, not tails.”
- “Started car diet: cutting out the carbs.”
- “Not drunk, just avoiding potholes.”
- “Driving is my therapy – my escape.”
- “Keep calm and drive on.”
- “Yes, officer, I did see the speed limit sign. I just didn’t see you.”
- “I don’t have road rage, you’re just an idiot.”
- “Too fast for love.”
- “They say money can’t buy happiness. But it pays for gas, which is pretty much the same thing.”
- “It’s not about the destination but the glory of the ride.”
- “Did it for the parking space.”
- “The road to my heart is paved with paw prints.”
- “Drive like you stole it.”
- “Does using the carpool lane count as a social life?”
- “Life in the fast lane, until you have to refuel.”
- “Out of my way, I’m in a hurry!”
- “Either the car is new or the driver is.”
- “Honk if you think I’m sexy. Then put down your phone and drive!”
- “Just winging it – my eyeliner and my driving.”
- “Love means never having to say you’re sorry… to merge.”
- “Weekend forecast: Driving with a chance of adventure.”
- “Car sick: When your car’s tune-up costs more than a trip to the Bahamas.”
- “If you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough.”
- “Turning my driving mode ON.”
- “Life’s a journey, not a destination. But always a fun ride!”
- “Keep calm and let’s go for a drive.”
- “Out here making our own lanes.”
- “Eyes on the horizon, foot on the pedal.”
- “Some call it road rage, I call it aggressive maneuvering.”
- “Happiness is… a green light.”
- “Beep, beep! Outta my way!”
- “Who needs GPS? I know where I’m lost!”
- “If you’re not first, you’re last.”
- “Too many roads, too little time.”
- “Some of my best friends are road signs.”
- “When life throws you a curve, downshift and take it!”
- “Weekend forecast: Cruising with a slight chance of adventure.”
- “My favorite hybrid is me behind the wheel with coffee.”
- “This is how I roll!”
- “I don’t need therapy. I just need a long drive.”
- “The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
- “Out of all the paths you take in life, make sure some of them are dirt.”
- “If you were a car, I’d jack you up and check your oil.”
- “Brake is the enemy.”
- “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
- “License to roam.”
- “The most scenic roads have the most curves.”
- “Why be moody when you can shake your booty in the car?”
- “Feeling wheel today!”
- “My car might be old, but it still gets me there.”
- “Driving with the top down – even in the rain.”
- “Got more keys than Alicia.”
- “I don’t drive fast, I just fly low.”
- “If you’re comfortable, you’re not going fast enough.”
- “Can’t touch this!”
- “Driving faster than my guardian angel can fly.”
- “Watch out for the wild driver!”
- “This isn’t a race… Oh wait, yes it is!”
- “I was going to make a car joke, but I didn’t want to exhaust you.”
- “Life is too short to drive boring cars.”
- “All I want is a good tune and an open road.”
- “Laugh it up, fuzzball – it’s not a race!”
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. That’s why I keep snacks in my car.”
- “Speed bump ahead. Oh wait, just a shadow.”
- “There’s no place like home – but I’d rather be driving.”
- “Love is… sharing the open road.”
- “Just call me Bond. James, Bond. Shaken, not stirred by my driving.”
- “They say don’t drink and drive. So I sip and cruise.”
- “Forget the map, I’m going on an adventure!”
- “Better late than never but never late is better.”
- “Drive it like you stole it – but remember I have insurance!”
- “Let’s drive into the sunset together!”
- “Just because I’m in the slow lane doesn’t mean I’m slow!”
- “Going my way?”
- “Driving is a way of life. Mostly in the left lane.”
- “Life is a highway. I wanna ride it all night long.”
- “I wasn’t texting, I was just drafting my novel.”
- “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing… and my driving!”
- “If my car was a person, it would have trust issues.”
- “Let’s wander where the Wi-Fi is weak.”
- “Just a girl in love with every bend in the road.”
- “Driving license to thrill.”
- “Some call it reckless. I call it exhilarating!”
- “I brake for animals, coffee shops, and garage sales.”
- “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”
- “Driven by passion (and a lot of coffee).”
- “I only speed when I really need to: Always.”
- “Driving mode: Beast.”
- “I don’t always scream at my television but when I do, it’s football season.”
- “Road trips aren’t measured by mile markers, but by moments.”
- “I follow the speed limit. Just not during rush hour.”
- “Keep calm and drive like a boss.”
- “My car’s music is high, my socks are colorful, and my mood is on the run.”
- “Let’s have a moment of silence for all those stuck in traffic.”
- “Don’t dream it, drive it!”
- “Life is too short for traffic jams.”
- “Better a late bloomer than never at all!”
- “If you can read this, you’re not the police. Carry on!”
- “Real men use three pedals.”
- “Slow down? Never!”
- “Sunday Funday drive!”
- “Who needs roads when you have a sense of direction?”
- “Honk if you’re having a good time!”
- “Can my car be my Valentine?”
- “Some call it road rage, I call it driving with passion!”
- “Going nowhere fast!”
- “Life’s an open road.”
- “I wasn’t speeding, I was just testing my brakes.”
- “Beauty in the streets, beast in my seats!”
- “Buckle up! It’s going to be a fun ride.”
- “I brake for cake!”
- “My car is my yoga mat.”
- “Life’s a journey. Avoid speed bumps!”
- “Just a girl and her car.”
- “The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams.”
- “Traffic jams are a great time to just be.”
- “Fueling my wanderlust, one drive at a time.”
- “When in doubt, throttle out.”
- “Laugh at your mistakes; everyone else is.”
- “There’s more to life than gas, but not much.”
- “Got gas? Let’s go!”
- “My other ride is a spaceship.”
- “May your coffee be strong and your commute be short.”
- “Why do drivers wait until it’s raining to turn on their lights but not their brains?”
- “I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m someone’s double vodka.”
- “Life is like a car. If you keep going in reverse, you won’t get to your destination.”
- “Driving > Adulting.”
- “Life is a journey, enjoy the ride!”
- “Keep honking, I’m reloading.”
- “Eat. Sleep. Drive. Repeat.”
- “Out of my way, world. I’ve got my sassy pants on!”
- “Cruise mode on.”
- “My way or the highway!”
- “I like cars with curves.”
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it… in my car.”
- “You can’t handle the vroom!”
- “Gas, coffee, drive, repeat!”
- “Steering my way into your heart.”
- “Speed demon on the loose!”
- “Feeling adrenalized!”
- “If you see me driving and singing, mind your business.”
- “From 0 to 100 real quick!”
- “Drive more, worry less.”
- “Riding into the sunset, one gear at a time.”
I hope you find these humorous and appropriate for your Instagram posts! And of course, I hope your audience gets a laugh out of these too. 😆
